To Be Unique Start with U: Embracing Fear & Turning Away from Comparison
When I initially began blogging, I was excited… excited to be doing something that brought me so much joy… Something that could elevate me in so many ways… Something that the world was beginning to respond to!
Wait, respond to? 😳
I found some amazing bloggers who served as role models and great examples to me during my transition into becoming a better blogger. I also read the comments under the some of their posts. The world was not always nice about their outfit of the day (#ootd). As a result, I became fearful of what people might find wrong with my blog, my #ootd styles and more. I wasn’t sure if I was up for the anonymous scrutiny of the internet gangsters.
That’s right, I was fearful, but there’s nothing wrong with being afraid. Anyone who claims to attempt great things without a sense of fear and trepidation is not being honest. Because even the established experience fear. The difference between a novice and an established person is not that the established person feels no fear, but that an established person won’t let fear get in the way of his or her greatness.
So I moved forward with my mission, fear and all. I did receive comments that were not so kind, but every brick thrown built me up! As a matter of fact, I was built up so much that my standing against the rough weather is what I believe brought more people to my blog! And of course with an increase of views came the desire to build and increase my brand.
No one called me by my first name, LaQuisha. I would attend natural hair events to find people calling me my blog name or doing the best they could to remember my blog name, referring to me as “Curly Girl” sometimes, LOL. Nevertheless, I was proud to be recognized by my brand.
But while attending other events, I met other brand moguls. I met women with bigger afros, better makeup, large audiences and more followers, etc. I wondered if I would ever reach the status they had attained. I found myself again, fearful and comparing my blog to their blogs. It took me at least 2 of my 5 years to realize the following:
1. Fear and failure is the fuel needed to keep growing and glowing.
Every time I became afraid or messed up with a terrible post, I would work harder on the next. I did more research. I gained and applied new knowledge because I was hungry for success. If I would have never messed up or been afraid, I would not have worked so hard to be great.
2. Comparisons cannot be made between uniqueness or greatness.
They just are what they are and will be what they will be. I couldn’t try to be the next “anyone” because I am unique. My style, heart and desire was different from all those I looked up to online. It is great to be inspired; it is a travesty to be a copycat. I am described as a classy and modest blogger because of my personal style, not because of styles that I saw online and copied. And I am comfortable with the way I dress! Find the unique within you and you will find your own greatness!
3. Running your car increases your travel opportunities.
Whatever you do, DON’T STOP! The longer you pursue your vision, the more you will see and experience. It is because I kept getting dressed (in spite of how I felt or how many likes and comments I got), I kept taking photos, I kept posting and I kept repeating this process that my brand was built. Rome, nor houses, are built in a day. I repeat, don’t stop!
Whew! This is a very transparent post! But I believe that in order to grow, honesty is key.
Be honest with yourself:
Has fear or comparison prevented you from presenting your authentic self to the world?
What do you need to stop, start and continue doing in order to reach your blog/brand goals?
Featured #OOTD Details: Orange Trench Coat & Jean Pumps: ShoeDazzle | Turtle Neck Vintage Sweater: thrifted | Earrings: Francesca’s | Sunnies: Bag It Up Jewelry | Photgraphy: Grumpy Panda
xoxo,
Corner Curl Girl
20 comments on “To Be Unique Start with U: Embracing Fear & Turning Away from Comparison”
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Corner Curl Girl 
It’s a constant battle, whether on this platform or not. I’ll be 35 this year, and I’ve accepted that I’m me AF and that’s that, lololol. I read on another sister’s post that we can pick our thoughts and pluck the negative ones out: think of the haters as a fly or something falling into your favorite drank, you grab a spoon or whatever to scoop it out and toss it to the side. Or, you might pour the whole drank out and start over! That’s how I’m approaching negative thoughts/people this year. Pluck ’em out and replace them with healthy, reassuring ones.There will be a lot more positive self talk going forward. Not feeling me, scroll on.
Also, my blog is in my govt name and the comments are unmoderated, so if I said it I stand by it and will face whatever comes with that. Here’s to bravery and good vibes!
Your outfit is cute, btw.
Yes, Keisha! It is so important to retain our brains and decrease the negative thinking. Affirmations help with this process. Thanks for visiting!
Well put! I especially like the “keep going and don’t stop mentality”. You can’t compare yourself to others, and yep..you will always get unkind people. You just have to ignore and power on. Love the outfit on the metro. Great pic! 🙂
Ignoring and powering on, queen!
I LOVE this post! So true!! In blogging and social media its so easy to get caught up in what others are doing or comparing yourself…we all have our own journey!
Each one of us have a unique journey, you are absolutely right, Carissa!
Comparing yourself to other people/brands/businesses can be the thief of joy or great inspiration. I’ve had to make sure I keep my mind straight. What’s for me is for me and it won’t miss me. I have to believe that.
I agree, Mimi!!
Okay, first I must say that these pics are amazing! It’s so easy to get caught of in comparisons but we can’t let it stop us from being our authentic selves. When others succeed we can use it as inspiration that we can achieve it too.
Thank you, Stacie! ☺️ Yes, we must use inspirations to be inspired, not to compare!
You are absolutely gorgeous (both your words and your style.) As a blogger it is easy to get caught up in following the pack and losing some originality along the way. The comparison game only leaves a trail of self doubt. My only advice would be to stay creative and unashamed of your unique voice and vision. ❤️💭
Thank you so much, beautiful! Stay creative… Love that!
I love that you can’t compare uniqueness to greatness! This was a great post for the new year!
Thank you! This is a great article. I was fearful in the beginning also when I started blogging and I stopped trying to please everyone because this is my blog, my voice and my point of view! #LovetheShoes 🙂
I love this post. I have gone back and forth about continuing with blogging or not. Trying to decide what my next move will be. It can sometimes be hard not to compare yourself to others but I’m glad that I have decided to keep on, keeping on.
This is a great post! I love your transparency. Thank God I haven’t gotten caught up in what other bloggers are doing and getting.
Transparency and honest is most important most if the denial and lies lead many to failure. Fear is a skewed perception screaming for a clean path of understanding. Life lessons very insightful post.
Thank you!
I love your glasses, they look so chic and classy. Blogging has to be a labor of love because it is definitely not an easy undertaking.
Absolutely! Thanks for sharing!